I’m going to talk about the difference between an emotional affair and friendship. The question is not so much. Can a husband have a female friend or can a wife have a male friend? I stated my definition of emotional affairs here is a recap emotional cheating is when you look to someone else other than your spouse to fill you. In areas that only your spouse should fulfill you. So working with the definition that emotional affairs occur when a person needs the other person in their life to provide them with something that their spouse should be giving them.
Is any relationship with opposite sex emotional affair?
How does this apply to opposite sex friendship, interestingly, research indicates that men rely more on their wives for emotional support and well being actually, according to research, women are more likely to have a support system outside of their marriage, whereas men are most likely to turn only to their wives in times of hardship for that emotional need. I think that begs a question for all of us to consider. Am I a good friend to my spouse, am I giving them or have I been giving them the physical and emotional support they need so that they will not feel the need to look elsewhere, take a moment to reflect on that. On top of that, women are more likely to go to other women about emotional issues, whereas men are less likely to talk to their male friends about the same issue. They tend to seek guidance and friendship of women. So what does all of this mean. One can surmise from the research the following for both genders. But especially men, if they do not receive the physical and emotional support that they need from their spouse. The temptation is there to turn to someone else, especially a man seeking a woman to be a friend for them. It starts with finding a friend at work connecting on shared interest, but when sharing those facts turn into sharing feelings, you’re on a slippery slope to entering into an affair. It happens for women too, while women may have more protective measures because they have more female friends to turn to there is still equal temptation and susceptibility to emotional affairs when friendship turns into emotional. Lacking from a husband. That being said.
Emotional affair and its effect on marriage
Research is also clear that both husbands and wives do need friends outside of the marriage and that actually can lead to a happier and healthier life and marriage. So what are we to do. Number one, protect your marriage, talk with your spouse about what is appropriate and what is not appropriate when it comes to opposite sex friends. There are some instances where you talk about it and you come to an agreement that makes sense for both of you. So one example is in high school, I had two good friends. One was a girl, her name is katie, and one was a guy friend named austin and they had been best friends since they were pretty much babies and are still best friends to this day, even though both of them are married. So what is the point you take into that, that was a conversation that I’m sure came up with each of their fiancees when they were engaged. There was an understanding of this is the relationship I have. Austin is my best friend since childhood. Katie is my best friend since childhood and they set boundaries around that longtime friendship that still made their marriage work. So I’m sure I wasn’t privy to those conversations, but I’m sure that was a conversation that was had they talked with their spouses, they talked with their they’re about to be spouses about, hey, what does it look like for me to continue this friendship. But also not get on the slippery slope of an affair and make sure that I’m protecting the marriage.
How to protect your marriage from emotional affairs?
The key here is that you are loyal and committed to your spouse first. And if your spouse ever begins to feel like it’s inappropriate or uncomfortable, then your loyalty is first to your spouse and to the marriage.Rob and I have very open communication about this. I have several male friends, but our rules are this number one. I always tell him whenever I’m going to see them if I’m going to lunch or coffee or even if they texted me. I always tell rob that we talked and what we talked about, even if it’s not in complete detail. I tell him everything could I lie. I could. Because Rob wasn’t there, but I care more about my commitment to my marriage and to my family than I do about lying. In fact, if I ever feel the need to not tell rob something like I should cover it up. Then I know it is the first thing I need to tell him. I always tell Rob if I ever feel attracted to another man because it takes the power away and he does the same thing for me. The second point is to be a good friend. Are you spending time having fun talking about non-stressful things, listening to each other and being a good friend and being a good lover going on date nights, having sex often every single week because these are the things that you can and should be doing that their friends should not be doing. Imagine what it would be like if Rob and I only talked about stressful things in our marriage if we stopped going out to have fun and going on date nights if we stopped showing interest in each other’s hobbies, our marriage would slowly start to become stale and boring. We would begin drifting apart because we would lose interest because we weren’t trying to be good france. These are the small things that add up over time that you can’t afford to stop doing, which leads me to my next point to encourage your spouse to have friends appropriately and set boundaries to stop affairs. Like I said earlier, Rob and I know our boundaries and are therefore comfortable with each other having opposite sex friends. That being said. We always meet in public places and we don’t hide any interactions. That’s how you keep affairs from happening. Can they still happen. Yes. But the real key is you knowing when you are developing feelings or going overboard and stopping the friendship. The bottom line has to be that your marriage means more to you than the friendship and that you will do whatever it takes, including ending the friendship to commit to your marriage, but you may be thinking my spouse is the one unwilling to end the friendship then you need to get help for your marriage.