How to rebuild trust after an affair or How to fix a relationship after cheating? Now, if you are in this situation. If you are the person who cheated or if you were the person who was cheated on, I empathize with you because this is not an easy situation to be in. Let me start by saying every situation is different. Therefore, the remedy will be different. No two circumstances are like however, there are fundamental tools in which you can utilize to try to start and rebuild trust after an affair. So let’s get right into them. Number one, accountability. Taking responsibility for your actions. In the relationship that may have led to the affair is incredibly important. If you do not take responsibility for yourself and the things that you did, it is going to be very difficult for your partner to feel comfortable enough to do the same. Again, remember a relationship is a two way street. So in order for you guys to come to a common understanding and be able to have a productive and constructive conversation.
Why is accountability important?
You have to take accountability for your actions and think about it. You too want your partner as well to take accountability for their actions. So even if you are the person who cheated on your partner on your spouse or vice versa. It is crucial that you take responsibility for your part in the infidelity in that affair. Now I know that might seem a little harsh for the individual who was cheated on, but you also have to understand that potentially there is something that happened along the line of your relationship. Maybe you stop being affectionate with your partner. Maybe you stopped communicating with your partner and your partner felt as if they were not getting the affection that they needed within the relationship and therefore sought that attention and that affection somewhere else. Again, like I said, it is a twoway street, so taking accountability is the first step in being able to open the doors to the conversation to be able to move past the affair. Step number two communication. Communication. Is going to be one of your strongest tools that you can utilize at this time. You want to be clear and concise in your communication, you want to make sure that you are getting your point across and that your partner is understanding your concerns, your emotions and what you are feeling in this moment. Now, if you’re the individual who was cheated on or the person who was betrayed. I understand how difficult it will be for you to communicate in a. Neutral way. But. If you find that it is difficult for you to have a conversation with your partner in that way. My suggestion to you is to write down your emotions to write down your thoughts. That way you can remove the emotion from it and just focus on that paper and that way when you sit down to have a conversation with your partner, there is clear and concise questions that you have or concerns that you have and that goes for the individual who cheated as well.
Control your emotions
And what you can do in this situation is allow them give them the freedom to do that if you are the person who was betrayed, you will also need to have patience for your partner. I know that may. Seem unfair. I know that may seem like it’s something that is unrealistic. But at the end of the day. If you guys are going to work this out together, you both have to have patients for each other. Step number four. Empathy. Having empathy for each other throughout this situation is. Crucial. You have to be able to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. To understand where they are coming from emotionally and what drove them to that decision if you are unable to empathize with them on an emotional level.
Self awareness is important
Then you will not be able to move on and move past the action of the affair step number five, self awareness. Self awareness is your ability to reflect, to go internally and understand how you work emotionally, mentally, spiritually. And in doing this and becoming more self aware, you are able to step back and have moments of reflection in which you can ask yourself important questions as in why did I have the affair or why did that person, why did my partner have an affair on me. Why did they cheat on me? Why did we get, how did we get into this situation? Without that perspective and without really knowing what caused the affair it will be very difficult if not impossible, to be able to move on from the situation. So again, self awareness is extremely important in this situation. Step number six, consistency. Being consistent. Now, more than ever. Is something that you have to consciously. Make an effort. To do. Consistency is not just doing the same thing over and over and over again. Yes, technically that is what it is. But it’s more so about. Building trust, rebuilding that trust, rebuilding that foundation of the relationship. If you tell your partner, you are going to be home at six o’clock, then you are home at six o’clock if you tell your partner that you’re going to pick up the kids from school, then you pick up the kids from school. It’s about showing your partner that you are invested that you are committed and that you are willing to rebuild that trust because without that trust, there is no way that you guys will be able to rebuild the relationship after the affair. You have to be able to trust each other. As I mentioned before, self awareness is such an important part of being able to fully understand. Why the actions were committed why the affair happened in the first place if you want to learn to be more self aware and I urge you to become more self aware.