How To Fix A Relationship After Cheating

By | January 15, 2023

How to fix a relationship after cheating. We all know a person who said, listen, I cheated on my woman or I’ve been cheated on what do I do? Let me just say when I say be careful with who you listen to because your friends and your family are going to want to protect you. Your friends and your family are going to say you should absolutely leave that asshole. Your if you’re the cheater, your friends and your family going to say, well, that person wasn’t loving you the way you needed everyone’s going to have a reason to protect you because they love and value you, but that advice is not always helpful for your relationship and if your relationship is going to work and last. Then this advice is just not helpful. So first and foremost, if you are the cheater or if you’ve been cheated on. This is something that you have to ask yourself. Am I really committed to making this relationship work, because if you were the person who cheated, then my love, I’m gonna shoot you very straight. You are going to have to work your ass off, not going to bullshit you at all. You’re going to have to work your ass off and if you are the person that’s been cheated on. Then comes the road for healing. It could be a very long road. So the question you have to ask yourself whether you’re the cheater or the person who’s been cheated on is how committed am I to this relationship and do I really want to make this.

Can relashionship survive cheating?

Now, listen, just because someone who’s cheated doesn’t mean that the relationship is over, but there are some people that that is their boundary. They say, listen. Once a person cheats, I’m done, I cannot come back from that. That’s a choice that they have to make and we have to honor their choice. But if you’re the person that cheated. You know building trust obviously is the most important thing, but that is a really long process. And so the first thing that you want to do is be an advocate of validating the pain that you cause to their heart so constantly going out of your way to say I am sorry that I put you in this position. I am sorry that I put our relationship in this position and not waiting for your partner or your spouse to come and say this to you. But you being an advocate and bringing this up often it’s not to remind them of the pain, but it’s you being an advocate advocate and saying, listen, I created this mess and so I’m going to go out of my way. To bring restoration to this mess when you were the person who’s been cheated on. Let me just say that your voice really matters. It’s very important.

Why are conversations important?

So you don’t need to feel bad for discussing with your partner the pain that they cause you in fact, that is something that they have to man up or woman up and here and here is often as you need to say it when you’re experiencing pain as a person who’s been cheated on and you want to say something that is your heart needing a voice if you don’t give your heart. That voice what happens is your heart will continue to carry that pain and if it never has an outlet to come out. The pain stays and the pain festers. So while you may be hurting and broken over the cheating in the relationship because you’re not giving that pain a voice, you may make the pain about your being a terrible father. You’re a terrible provider. You may make it about other things and what it actually is about, which is you violated me. You betrayed me. You broke something sacred between the two of us and I am in the. Deep pain you have every right to voice that to your partner and if you’re the cheater, you need to be able to hear this and hear the pain and be able to speak into that with great empathy of saying I am so sorry and tears are healing. So either way, if you’re the cheater. You’ve been cheated on letting those tears come out in the middle conversation, allowing that vulnerability to be expressive. I am hurting your actions have caused me to feel this pain and I am in deep pain right now and I’m hurting. I would say, you know. It is possible. But it is a long road, but starting here, starting with if you’re the cheater of being the advocate of creating a space for them to voice their pain or if you’re the person who’s been cheated on, not taking on the responsibility. They already feel bad that’s not your problem, but what is your responsibility is giving your pain and giving your heart a voice.

Relationships after cheating

So I want to encourage you that if you are committed to your relationship that it is going to take work, it’s gonna require some sacrifice with it. Do you find it difficult using your voice when someone has caused you pain and if so? I know that relationships are one of the most challenging things we will ever walk through. But they also bring the greatest reward and I know that there are tons of work, but you know what, and at the end of the day, love is really what we have. I always say this example that when the plane was going down at nine eleven people weren’t worried about their homes or their cars or their jobs or their salaries or their chanel handbags, what they were concerned with were the people that they loved and did those people know how much they loved them. So at the end of the day love is the only thing that we get to take with us.

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