You know Louis C. K. a while back talked about husband wife cheating probmel. He mentioned Tiger Woods. I really liked it because people were complaining about tiger woods and his affairs and also about Arnold Schwarzenegger in his affairs and um and one of the things that Louis C. K. pointed out. Quite very comical matter was that. Many men aren’t having the affairs of tiger woods. But that’s not because they’re good men. It’s because they don’t have I think he said, a bus load of swedish bikini models waiting for them at the final whole. So the idea would be that you should conduct yourself so that you are attractive to many women, maybe that you have your pick of them, but then you should pick one. And that’s a sacrifice. Obviously, that’s a sacrifice of a sort. It’s a strange sacrifice because. You know I talked to someone, a comedian recently. Who told me of one of his experiences in Las Begas. So he went to las vegas with a sports superstar. And they went to a party and what literally happened at the party was one woman brought forward a small group of other women. All very attractive and basically told the sports legend that he could just pick one of them and she would go home with him, right, and so that had all been arranged beforehand and he said that he’s been in many.
Why do men cheat?
Situations where something like that has happened and I thought. That sort of is appealing to the Hugh Hefner playboy fourteen year old fantasy that sort of gripped our culture from the one nine hundred sixty s onward. Imagine that you sleep casually with one hundred women in in a six month period or a three month period for that matter. Or a three week period. I don’t care, pick your time frame and you say, well. What what and your your your. Ecstatic with yourself because you’ve been validated by this opportunity and and I’m not making light of that. It’s not nothing to be attractive to women like that. It’s really something to be attractive to women like that, but it isn’t obvious to me that. Your choice to conduct yourself in that manner enriches your life and the life of other people more in any way than picking one person and actually having a relationship with them. It’s only true that that promiscuous pathway.
The difference between sexual and emotional affair
It’s better if you can actually divorce sexuality from all the other elements of life you say, well, it’s about variety and it’s about impulsive pleasure or maybe it could be even slightly deeper than merely impulsive pleasure to be shared impulsive pleasure, but I don’t think you can do that because sexuality isn’t divorceable from family and from morality and from all the other elements of your life and if you’re mature you know that. And so you make a decision, you make a decision not to capitalize on your opportunity, not to misuse your opportunities and you know a huge part of the me too phenomena. The huge part of this battle that’s being played out in our culture is a consequence of the failure of men to recognize that now it’s not only the failure of men, let me be absolutely clear about that because for example. With the example of the sports superstar, the women who are lining up in front of him parading themselves and offering themselves are deeply complicit in in this pathological game. And so it’s pretty clear anthropologically as well that you know sexual choice tends towards a prado distribution, especially for men. So most men have very little selection at their disposal and a small number of men have excess opportunities. The question is what should that small number of men do and you might say capitalize on it and to hell with the consequences. It’s a powerful argument, but I do believe it’s wrong. It destabilizes the society. And so and I also don’t think it does your soul any good because the problem with treating other people as casual sexual partners. Let’s say is that you also treat yourself that way simultaneously and I don’t think that that does you any good because you’re not. Unless that’s what you want to be if you want to be a casual partner. It’s like, well, that’s I wouldn’t say that’s a particularly noble ambition. You should be able to do better than that.