I’m going to talk about nine reasons cheating people cheat and I’m also going to talk about some of my regrets. Psychologists try to get a better understanding of what drives people to commit infidelity. What I found goes way beyond the scope of what I believe and I thought it was very important. Share whether for novelty. Independence, freedom or just trying to believe some tension. There are so many reasons that people commit infidelity and when you really look into it, no two incidents are the same. Number one is loss of passion and let me start this off with a quote from the world renowned relationship therapist “once we strayed because marriage was not supposed to deliver love and passion. Now we strayed because marriage fails to deliver the love, passion and undivided attention it promised.” Many relationships and marriages start with the honeymoon phase in this phase, couples may tend to show the best versions of themselves. They end up acting out an idealistic image of the relationship as a point of reference as time moves forward. They see how their partners really are in contrast to the ideal expectations that they set for themselves. This feeds into a loop of frustration and disillusionment. And the cognitive effects of this can lead to a breakdown in the relationship.
Lack of communication
Number two is neglect when the channels of communication shutdown, many feel a powerful sense of loss and neglect inside a relationship. People are more likely to plan. That is when their partners no longer give them that same level of attention doting in care. Most of us want to be desired in the bridge. This gap. We look for it elsewhere, sometimes in the form of an affair when asked the reason they had an affair, most women admitted to seeking validation of being desirable from others number three exacting revenge, infidelity causes more infidelity. I’ve experienced this personally, individuals with a strong moral standard are not likely to cheat on their partners. However, if a person finds themselves the victim of their partner’s extramarital affairs, that may just be the tipping point to exact revenge and anger, this is an unhealthy and indirect way to handle the central issue according to law endowment of the triumph therapy group cheaters justifying an active infidelity as evening the score you’ve heard the saying two wrongs don’t make a right and though two wrongs don’t. Right. I’d been told by women who have been cheated on that they too needed to go out and even the score before they could even begin to deal with the relationship issues, see a therapist or a counselor and some of those couples have since gone on to get married, have children and a healthy. Monogamous relationship to my knowledge number four acting on fantasies over ninety percent of men fantasize about people they meet in real life. Often a strong desire to be with another person is enough of a motivation to actually act on those desires men who maintain strong fantasies are more likely to cheat if the opportunity presents itself a good friend of mine told me that some people are only as loyal as their options. This sounds a lot like that. Sometimes it may feel as though it’s empowering to act on something that you know you’re not supposed to do. The motivation may not change, but the forbidden act ends up feeling as if they’re doing what they want to do number five seeking a different version of oneself. A lot of times we think of infidelity is a conflict between two. People between partners rarely do we ever stop to think of it as a conflict within ourselves. Most individuals in long term relationships attest to a strong intimacy. Connection and genuine love for their partners painting a profile of a faithful relationship. It is not necessarily in their nature to cheat and even still it’s not a sure fire formula for loyalty. Sometimes it’s not really about the partner. It’s the individual’s desire to be more adventurous or to take more risks or to have more experiences simply want to prove to themselves at once and for all, they can actually be an adventurous person may be enough to drive someone to have an unfaithful encounter outside of their relationship.
Some will find themselves in a relationship with a narcissist, narcissist or egotistic, arrogant, and attention seeking sociopath. They are frequently found at the center of many incidents of physical and or emotional infidelity in two thousand and six, psychologist joshua foster looked into how narcissists operate inside of intimate relationships people with narcissistic personalities practice what they call unrestricted sociosexuality. They do not associate a sexual act as an exclusive intimacy. But instead see it as only a means of self gratification. They practice a level of self entitlement that is extremely damaging for any well-meaning relationship and if his findings are accurate, our society is just teeming with narcissists because I’ve heard tons of stories from friends who have been involved with people exactly like this.
Challenging the institution
People sometimes find themselves in a powder struggle between their pride and the status quo in a stifling relationship some may act out in infidelity as a way of saying I’m in control. For some taking matters into their own hands and being independent may run in the opposite direction of the relationship, a person may express this by cheating on their partner. It’s not so much a conflict with the relationship per se. It’s more a conflict with what the relationship represents and its perceived restrictions number eight. Skirting the boundaries, some people like to test the great areas of a relationship some may interpret sexual adultery as a minimum offense. Whereas flirting on a dating app being the maximum offense, there are two broad categories for infidelity to physical infidelity and there’s emotional infidelity in a study conducted in the University of Wisconsin in two thousand and eight researchers found a start difference in between what men considered infidelity and what women considered infidelity men are more likely to be upset over sexual infidelity than women in comparison over seventy percent of women said they would. Be more likely to be upset if their partners engaged in emotional infidelity, by the way. Are finding any value in this content. This would be the time to click the like button. We still got a ways ago, but I’ve already developed a better understanding of what it was that led me to cheat in the first place. Maybe you’ve identified something as to why you may have been cheated on or why you cheated. If you don’t mind, could you please share that in the comment that is valuable information, maybe it will help give someone else insight as to why they are tempted to cheat or why they too were cheated on. And once again, if you haven’t already now would be the time to click the like button number nine sexual gratification when you really get down to the nitty gritty, sometimes people just want to have sex. Individuals are more likely to cheat on their partners when they don’t feel sexually gratified within their relationships, a large survey comprising of over five hundred men and four hundred women looked into the different factors they come into causes of infidelity, women who believe they were unhappy and sexually incompatible with their partners were more likely to cheat, but there’s a lot more to it. My dad slept around a lot and one day I asked him, why what did you. What did he get out of it. And he said gratification, you know, and someone tell you you still got it. And so in my opinion, yes, there are all of these varying reasons for why people cheat, but I also believe that age plays a role. Sometimes you’re going to a midlife crisis. Sometimes you have a much more juvenile interpretation of what an intimate relationship consists of. Sometimes you’re just looking for an excuse to ruin a relationship that you believe should have been over a long time ago. You simply don’t have the heart to call it off and that was partly my reason for cheating. I also think that number four was a contributing factor in simply wanting to live a more adventurous life. Simply wanting to try new things, I was young, I was self destructive and I didn’t have as much experience as I would have liked to have had at that point in my life and I felt as though the relationship had taken up quite a bit of my younger years and not having the heart to break up with this person. I simply cheated with hopes of being caught and I ended up telling on myself anyway and that resulted in number three exacting revenge. She went out and did the exact same thing and though it was me who made the first attempt at destroying our relationship. Knowing that she had cheated was torment. I could not deal with it honestly, my ego could not deal with it. I was young. I was inexperienced. I was inconsiderate and if I were to really, really be honest, I exhibited a little bit of number six. I felt like there was some narcissistic tendencies in there. Needless to say, I had a lot to learn and I was not deserving of her. My biggest regret is that I broke the trust of someone who was consistently supportive. Loving, giving and just honestly good for me, like genuinely cared about me. Look, I don’t beat myself up about it today. It was twenty years ago, but another one of my regrets is the psychological damage that it caused. I’m sure that I made it more difficult for her to trust openly. I already had trust issues and now. This just compounded that now I was walking around paranoid that in every relationship I was in, I was possibly being cheated on and see what a lot of us don’t understand is that when we carry out these acts like when we go out and we cheat. We are subconsciously convincing ourselves that that is the reality and by subconsciously convincing ourselves of that reality, it makes it very difficult for us to maturely engage whole-heartedly trustingly and openly in a monogamous relationship, another issue that comes with it is with this fear of being cheated on. You might find yourself seeking out the most trustworthy person possible and in doing so you compromise in all the other areas that you once needed to be stimulated in. So your relationship becomes not necessarily a fulfilling relationship, simply a relationship in which you can trust the individual that you are with will not cheat on you speaking from experience that is not the formula for happiness. Going one step further if the role models the parents or the people who raised you committed infidelity and that infidelity disrupted the household, you have a higher chance of committing infidelity. There is so much more to cover on this, but as far as my regrets go, I’d let down a friend. I betrayed a friend maybe five, six years after the fact she and I were able to get on the phone and talk together and really profess our love and appreciation for being in one another’s lives when we were in one another’s lives. But for me, one of the biggest takeaways is that I could never be someone to ever cheat again now that we have a clearer understanding of the most common reasons people commit infidelity.