“My boyfriend is a cheater. What should I do?”Unfortunately, being cheated on is a common experience. And woman asking, how can they trust again. How can they open their heart again and we look back and I’ll ask them. What were there red flags that you saw before he cheated? And in every single case, the answer is yes. There’s always things that you see things that you notice when something is off. And so today we’re going to look at the seven most common. It doesn’t mean if you see one of these seven signs that he’s cheating, but it does mean if you experience one of these, you want to bring it up in the relationship because the relationship might be off course and this is an opportunity to get it back on course or to make a decision for a new relationship.
The signs of cheating
So number one is he picks unnecessary fights with you. If you notice that all of a sudden he’s way more irritable or he’s picking fights with you that he never used to pick before and he’s making you wrong and all these scenarios and the two of you are fighting way more frequently and here’s what’s happening. You see he might not even know he’s doing this, but his subconscious mind has a mechanism that’s trying to make the relationship painful and uncomfortable because if the relationship is painful and uncomfortable, then it’s easier to leave that relationship or it’s easier to cheat. In other words. He feels guilty about what he’s about to do or what he’s currently doing. And so if he can make you the bad person, then that reduces the sense of guilt that he feels. So if the two of you are fighting a lot that he’s really irritable, making you the bad person is definitely something that you want to bring up in the relationship. Number two is his real sketchy with his phone or maybe he has two phones. He starts taking calls out of the. Or he goes way out of his way to make sure that you don’t see a text this coming through. Here’s the deal people who don’t have anything to hide aren’t trying to hide anything. I remember dating my wife, irene, and we were making dinner together and my phone was where she was on the other side of the counter and it dinged with a text. I’m like, hey, babe, can you open my phone and read that text to me? And she was like, are you serious, I was like, yeah. Read read that text to me and she was like, you sure you want me to look at your phone. I laughed and I was like, yeah. I’m sure I think I tell me who texts me and just read me the message and she was like. And then she said, oh my gosh, that was so wild because she realized the guys that she had data before never wanted her to look at the phone. That sketchy behavior if he doesn’t want you to see his phone or see what’s going on that sketchy behavior and you want to address any sketchy behavior going on in the relationship. And number three is you’re not having sex anymore. So notice that all these are changes in behavior that there was a one way of being and then there’s a change in this behavior and this one is really important because sex is a reflection of the level of connection and intimacy that the two of you are sharing together. And so if you had a good sex life and then you notice this change. You’re not having sex anymore. The sex is dried up. That’s a bad sign because that only lasts so long before you either fix it or. And so sometimes the sex dies and then the man will bring it up and I’ll talk to you and try to fix it other times. He’s gonna go and look for that sex somewhere else. So if you notice. That the sex is dried up in the relationship is definitely something that you want to address right away to see if you can get this relationship back on track and number four, he tries to gas like you.
In other words, he tries to make you into the crazy one he tries to make you look like you’re crazy, paranoid, not trusting and they’ll flip the script. You’ll try to make it that you’re attacking him, that he’s the victim here and there is nothing that he’s done this wrong when all the while, even though he’s trying to guess like you, none of his stories make sense, nothing as up and he still doesn’t have any straight answers for what’s been going on and he’s trying to gaslight you because if he can make you doubt yourself, if he can make you question whether or not your memory and your interpretation of this is on, if you can make you think that is actually often, he moves into a power position, do not let him do that to you. You sense that something’s off because something is off trust. That part of yourself. And have the conversation with him and number five is he’s vague and mysterious about his time away from you. Listen, if a guy is in love with you, his time away with you when he comes back, what does he want to do, he wants to share it with you. He wants to give you every detail he wants to give you every experience. Like look my boys and I we went here and we saw this and we did that and we experienced this. You’re never going to believe this when this happened. This other thing happened and he’s telling you all the stories and he’s telling you all about it why. Because he loves you, you’re his partner and he wants to give you is to bring you right into his life the guy where something’s off is going to be mysterious. He’s going to be vague. He’s not going to want to give you any of the details because those details might lead to incriminating evidence and even worse than that.
How to prevent cheating?
There’s a difference. Some guys are just a bit more reticent. They’re not going to share as much just their nature, but where this crosses the line into suspicious behavior is when it gets. For you asking questions about the details and he’ll get mad at you and and try to make you wrong because you want to know what was going on. Yeah, of course, she wants to know what’s going on, dude, she loves you. She wants to hear about your life. And so if you’re asking questions and he gets angry just because you’re asking for some details. That’s a red flag if you want to know the name of the restaurant that he went to with all of his buddies and he’s getting angry, there’s no need for that. Maybe you just want to know the name of that restaurant because you want to take your girlfriends there or maybe you want to know the name of that restaurant because you’re going to take the next hot guy that you date after you dump his ass and number six, he tells you about cheating on past girlfriends. Very important point people will tell you who they are if you’re willing to listen. One of the most important pieces of dating advice that I’ve ever heard is when people tell you who they are early in the relationship, believe them. And so one of the things that guys who cheat will do is when they’re dating a woman, they’ll tell stories about how they cheat. They didn’t have enough guts to break up with a woman. So they cheated on her to get her to break up with him and it won’t just be one time they’ll have a couple of stories or a series of stories like that. One of the reasons guys will do this is because subconsciously. This is a disclaimer for them when they actually act in this behavior in the current relationship they can say, see, I told you I tried to express who I was in this relationship at the end of the day if someone bragging about their colorful past. You want to be very careful about how much you invest in that new relationship until you know that person’s on a new track and number seven is your intuition tells you something is off. Trust your intuition. Trust your intuition. You’re not paranoid. You’re not crazy. You’re not going nuts. Your intuition is there for reason it is a still small voice that’s been given to you by your higher power and is there for a reason, so trust it if something feels off is because there’s a chance that something is off and so your move in that moment is to bring it up. Have the guts to have a conversation. The quality of our life is determined by the number of uncomfortable conversations we’re willing to have. Your willingness to bring up and have an uncomfortable conversation earlier in the relationship will be directly related to the quality and the depth of the relationship that you create.